Surely I Don't Look That Old!  

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING...., SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD. 

WELL . . . YOU'LL LOVE THE EXPERIENCE OF THIS GAL NAMED ALICE.. 

I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. 

I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA ON THE WALL, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME. SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 40-ODD YEARS AGO. 

COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN? 

HOWEVER, UPON SEEING HIM, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT. 

THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE. 

AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL .. 

'YES. YES, I DID. I'M A MUSTANG,' HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE. 

WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?' I ASKED. 

HE ANSWERED, 'IN 1975. WHY DO YOU ASK?' 

YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!', I EXCLAIMED. 

HE THEN LOOKED AT ME VERY CLOSELY. 

THEN, THAT UGLY, 

OLD, 

BALD, 

WRINKLED FACED, 

FAT-ASSED, 

GRAY-HAIRED, 

DECREPIT 

SON-OF-A-BITCH 

ASKED, 

'WHAT DID YOU TEACH???' 

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