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The Fastest Thing


An office manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring an individual to fill a job opening.  After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified -- an American, a Russian, an Australian, and a Filipino... He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question.  Their answer would determine who of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table the interviewer asked, 'What is the fastest thing you know?'


Dave, the American, replied, 'A THOUGHT.  It just pops into your head.  There's no warning that it's on the way; it's just there.  A thought is the fastest thing I know of.' 


'That's very good!' replied the interviewer.


'And now you sir?' he asked Vladimir, the Russian. 


'Hmm.... let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened.  A BLINK is the fastest thing I know. 


''Excellent!' said the interviewer. 'The blink of an eye... that's a very popular cliche for speed.'


He then turned to George, the Australian, who was contemplating his reply. 


'Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch.  When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes on.  Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of.'


The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. 'It's hard to beat the speed of light' he said.


Turning now to Eleuterio, the Filipino, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.


Eleuterio replied, 'After hearing da 3 previous answers sir, it's obvious to me dat the fastest thing is Diarrhea.'


'WHAT!?' said the interviewer, stunned by the response.  The others were already giggling in their seats...


'Oh, I can explain sir.' said Eleuterio.  


'You see, sir, da other day my tummy was feeling bad and so I ran so fast to the CR, but before I could 




BLINK, or 





Dammit, sir, I already had shit in my pants!'


Eleuterio is now the new 'Greeter' at Wal-Mart.


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